Checking In On The Best B&B In Orio

Usually when we go to Orio we stay with relatives but this time with five of us we were too many, so the family arranged for us to stay at a B&B. This was an experience. The B&B is delightful. It is in the oldest house in the village dating from 1767, but it was clean and modern. It turns out we were the first guests ever. This makes it of great interest not just to us but to the entire clan, all of whom accompanied us to check in and crowded into our two rooms to check it out for themselves. I would like to tell you the name of the place but I can't because it doesn't yet have a name. No one will ever know we were the first to stay there because there is no guest register. Oh, and there is no electronic record of payment because they only take cash--no credit cards. When you walk up to the house, you parade past several gates behind which barking dogs greet you somewhat unnervingly. The first thing the landlord explains to you is how to turn the hot water on and off. You can tell where the hot water is because all the pipes stick through the wall of the bathroom into the adjacent bedroom where they are conveniently covered by the bed shoved against the wall. One of those pipes feeds the bidet, which, if you have small children, is the most interesting part of the whole place. Gales of laughter will ensue as each one feels a blast of cold water hitting her backside as she washes her "bum bum". The B&B itself is located directly under the belltower of the picturesque Church of San Giorgio. At breakfast the next morning, the proprieter can tell you all about how the bells of the church are broken, which is why they ring madly at 4 a.m. Someone is coming from Genoa to fix them, someday. Of course, you will probably not understand this, if you do not speak Italian, as the landlord speaks only Italian and some French. Anyway, you don't really need language to communicate the message of "Eat! Eat!" the breakfast set before you consisting of bread, toast, biscotti and brioche. You also jam and butter, and for a beverage you get coffee or chocolate and a single obligatory glass of orange juice. This is all served with great formality for the approximately five minutes it takes to eat your piece of toast. And then you are ready for the day. If you ever go to Orio, I highly recommend the B&B. It has character. It would tell you the name and phone number, but since I don't know it, I can't. Just drive into town and ask at the town square and someone will point the way.